Ugh, I'm in a terrible mood right now. Ever have one of those days when the second you step outside, everyone conspires to remind you that there are some real assholes hanging around? The worst was this jackass who was dogging my every step while I was running. Had his damn scooter out on the trails and wouldn't leave me alone. I finally got to the beginning of the trail, told him that he was a physically repulsive and mentally vile human being, and I went home. I was going to come back, work, and spend a few hours going over music, but dealing with that asshole simultaneously depressed and pissed me off.
You can argue that this goes both ways, but why should I or anyone else limit their sexuality? Why should I be afraid to go for a run near my house without having some fat greasy 60 year old ogling my chest? Sure, you can say it's their right to express what they feel, but why at my expense? I am fucking sick of it. It's ridiculous that unless I go out wearing baggy pants and a shapeless t-shirt , I'll have someone following me around the grocery store parking lot.
I'm not saying I hate being hit on. I just don't understand why these people think they have the right to be so disgusting about it. I remember a group of foreigners once videotaped me bartending, trying to get as many ass or tit shots as they could. So yeah, I'm thoroughly annoyed about it. I should just let this crap roll of my back, but I shouldn't even have to do that.
I am, naturally, a slightly stand-offish person, because I'm reeeeallly shy around people I don't know. The thing is with this show, is that I have never met a group of people like this that I've been so instantly comfortable around. On stage and off, I adore this cast. I am physically comfortable with them, I love getting a beer after rehearsal with them, and just being around them.
Is this the price for being free with one's body and sexuality? How can I, for a few hours a day, let myself go around a group of virtual strangers and then suddenly feel I have to close myself off to protect myself and my feelings the rest of the time?